We have all heard the term, “On a Whim” but just what is a “whim”? I mean, if you are ‘on’ the whim does that mean it is something to sit on, or possibly ride?

I have been accused of doing things, “on a whim” quite a few times in my life and I must protest, I have never ridden a whim, at least not that I am aware of and if I did it must have been a very wild whim and it threw me and I lit on my head and I got amnesia and lost all memory of the incident, or, I didn’t realize that it was a whim that I was riding.

That’s it, it was a whim that I was riding and I didn’t realize it was a whim that I was riding therefore it was a case of mistaken identity, therefore I shouldn’t be held responsible for the whim that I was riding running amok and eating Mrs. Heron’s roses.

Let’s see what my old buddy Danny Webster has to say about it. “Whim, (1) A sudden or capricious idea or fancy. (2) An arbitrary thought or idea.”

O.K. Danny that really wasn’t all that helpful, especially considering that I have ridden a few capricious ideas and arbitrary thoughts in my life and I have the scars to prove it.
Let me give you an idea of what a whim looks like.

Nick and frank, two idiotic buddies of mine (Please don’t tell them that I said they are idiotic because they will be very upset and vindictive and share some of the rather hair brained things I have been guilty of.) to whom I promised I would never tell this sad tale of woe were camping one fine spring day way up in the Keweenaw Peninsula of Northern Michigan.

It was mid-summer and the wildlife was in fine fettle. That is to say that the Mosquito’s and no-see-ums were so thick they at times blotted out the sun.

Nick saw the bear cub first and he called, “Aww Frank, come here quick and see the cute little bear cub.”

The two young men stood at the base of the small cedar and stared up at the object of their attention in fascination while they talked in low tones.

“How much do you suppose the little guy weighs?” Frank asked.

“Oh, if I was to guess I would say twenty or thirty pounds, no more than that.” Nick offered.

Now this is where things began to go a tad wrong for here is where the ‘whim’ comes in.
(Whims by the way come in varying colors but predominately black and blue with a nice coagulated blood red thrown into the mix.)

The two outdoorsmen knew enough to never monkey around with a bear cub in the wild.
They were well aware of the fact that mama bears don’t take kindly to humans molesting their offspring, yes, they knew it but they decided to disregard the facts and go ahead and climb aboard their ‘whim’. And that is not to lead one to believe that the “cute little bear cub” needed any help from his mama as you shall see.

Later, neither man could remember which of them came up with the idea of catching the “cute little bear cub”; in fact they each denied it with great fervor.

Someone said, “Man, that little tree would be real easy to climb!”

Someone else said, “Yeah, and we have that piece of rope back at the tent!”

Now at this point I am going to let imagination tell the rest of the story.

Jake runs to the tent and fetches rope.

Frank begins to climb the tree with the rope to catch the “cute little bear cub” at which time he will lower the “cute little bear cub” to Nick and Nick will grab the “cute little bear cub” and hold it until Frank reaches the ground.

This part of the plan was wonderful but they had no clue what they were going to do with the “cute little bear cub” once they had captured it.

Oh well, something would come to mind, it always does with whims.

That is one thing you should remember about ‘whims’, very rarely are they accompanied with plans and when they are the plans are usually written in some lost language.

Frank climbed the tree and as he approached the “cute little bear cub” he called down to Nick that the “cute little bear cub” looked a lot bigger close up!

Frank reached out to place the rope around the cute little bear cub’s neck.

What is that old saying about, “the best laid plans of mice, men and idiots trying to catch, “cute little bear cubs” oft-times go awry”?

When that rope touched the “cute little bear cub,” for some strange reason known only to itself it suddenly went berserk.

Berserk bear cubs have the remarkable ability to transform themselves into meat grinder/wood chippers at a moments notice, with no warning.

Yep, “cute little bear cub”.
The first clue that all was not well was the terrible yowling and screaming and frantic movement up in the top of the tree.

Concerned, Nick called to his buddy, “Be careful Frank, we don’t want to hurt the little guy!”

It took only a moment for Nick to figure out that not all of that screaming and shouting was coming from the, “cute little bear cub.” Unless cute little bear cubs can shout things like, “Ouch! Oh no, get away from me! Oh Lord, he’s killing me!

Nick, obviously the sensitive sort called up into the shaking cedar, “Come on Frank, leave the little guy alone, you might hurt him. If he falls from up there he might get hurt.”

Frank, in full agreement was calmly, ‘gleeping, moaning and screaming’ but the “cute little bear cub” wanted to play.

If by chance you ever find yourself in such a predicament as our misbegotten friend Frank there is really only one thing that you can do. Let go and fall!

As falls go it was not a spectacular fall, a mere twenty feet and due to the fact that frank hit every branch on the tree at least twice, which usually would be an impossibility, his fall was somewhat broken along with three or four ribs and his pinkie finger on his right hand and due to the fact that one branch smacked him alongside the head and knocked him unconscious he didn’t realize it when he hit the ground.

As he woke Frank was mumbling something about the “cute little bear cub” trying to eat him.

Now we know that a “cute little bear cub” of a mere twenty or thirty pounds can’t possibly eat a full grown man so credit must be given to a previously unknown growth gene because the “cute little bear cub” grew into a two hundred pound black bear by the time Frank was able to tell the story the first time and since then it has reached the unbelievable sizes of three, four and five hundred pounds with no sign of slowing its growth rate any time soon.

You have a nice day now, ya hear. Chaz

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