TALKING TRASH WITH THE REBORN RIVER RAT

Posted by ctowne in March 23rd, 2008

TRASHUS IDIOTICUS DOMESTICUS
By
Charles Towne

I don’t know if you have noticed it or not but some folks don’t have the good sense God gave a goofy gopher!

Man, I love this grand country of ours. It is “Land of the free and the home of the brave” and quite obviously the natural habitat of what I refer to as ‘Trashus Idioticus Domesticus’ or what is otherwise known as the Idiotic trasher or, The common litterbug.

Some of you might think that I am speaking of some exotic avian species and I suppose you could say that this is a dirty bird because it fowls not only its own nest but that of others as well.
Yesterday on the way to the store the white Lexus ahead of me driven by a very classy lady, (appearances can be misleading) began shedding like crazy. A white McDonald’s bag flew from her window followed by a fistfull of napkins and a moment later an empty McDonald’s drink cup followed by a couple more napkins.

This morning I decided to take a walk to the woods about a block from the house.
In that block I picked up a Burger King wrapper, a Bud Lite can, a broken Pabst beer bottle, an empty Camel’s cigarette pack, a piece of trim from a car, two Bud Lite bottles and a road killed possom.

By the time I came to the possom I had so much trash I had to take it home and dump it in the garbage and to be honest with you I am ticked off.

Oh well, now that I have vented my spleen about one of my pet peeves how about letting us know what yours is. Another of mine is the Taillus Gatorus or the Common Tail Gator, not to be confused with the Florida alligator. The alligator is not nearly as dangerous as the Common Tail Gator. Chaz

You Should Also Check Out This Post:

More Active Posts:

12 Users Responded In This Article

Subscribes To This Post Rss Feeds Or Leave A Trackback

Pastor Joe Said in March 24th, 2008 @3:16 am

I read the whole thing! I enjoyed it very much. Your “Writer’s Heart” is obvious in your text. Good work. I did not force my self to read. I enjoyed discovering every new twist in each story. The pictures are great. BTW, thanks for scolding Trashus Idioticus Domesticus. I too pick up trash even in urban places. I wish that Trashus Idioticus Domesticus would go extinct. What do you think?

chaz Said in March 24th, 2008 @4:01 am

Hey Pastor Joe,
As Pogo possom, Walt Kelly’s lovable friend so wisely said, “We has met the enemy and he is us.”
There is a hairless rat, not exactly the loveliest of critters. While this sweetie is young it feasts upon the body waste of the adults. Cute, these little guys don’t you think?
I am not sure but do you suppose the hairless rat and Trashus Idioticus Domesticus are related. The only thing that is confusing about this hypothesis is that it appears that the hairless rat is the more intelligent of the two.
Garloo says, “Trash the trashers!” Chaz

chaz Said in March 24th, 2008 @4:37 am

Pastor Joe,
Never liking to leave anything half said, the naked rat I spoke of is actually, Heterocephalus Glaber, the naked mole rat of Gambia. This endearing fellow has a face only a mother could love and is nearly blind and I was wrong when I said it’s young eats the body waste. The entire colony eats the body waste thereby getting maximum benefit from their food. (This is carrying re-cycling to the extreme!)”Hey Ma, pass me another of those delicious, doodoo cookies will ya?” Yep, got to be related to Trashus Idioticus Domesticus. Chaz

Holly Said in March 24th, 2008 @10:50 am

I think I drove behind this same woman when I lived in Florida. Real charmer, she was…

Anonymous Said in March 24th, 2008 @2:00 pm

Sometimes the trashus isioticus types make me carzicus. Was following through the back woods a car with two young adults when the window opened and out came the McDonalds trash. It made me so crazicus that I stopped, picked up the trash and at the next stop sign honked and went up and gave them back their trash!

Anonymous Said in March 24th, 2008 @2:17 pm

Chaz,

Well said my friend. Didn’t know that you were such a trash talker.

Sadly your experience with the Trashus Idioticus Domesticus isn’t an isolated incident. Just walk any roadside of any traveled community in our once beautiful country as you’ve done and the results will probably be the same.

There are laws on the books against littering but they are not enforced. The fact is that until they are enforced with harsh penalties, nothing will change.

How can we enforce them? I recommend vigilante action! For example simply keeping a camera handy and when you see a violation occur, record it and report it. It will take a bit of planning, preparation and some of your time BUT it will be time well spent. Face it if we aren’t willing to address the problem then we are a part of the problem.

Pogo was right…“We has met the enemy and he is us.”

The Duke of Amboy

chaz Said in March 24th, 2008 @2:46 pm

TALKING TRASH
Way t’ go Anonymous! It seems that most of ‘us’ are reluctant to put ourselves on the line, to stand up for principle.
Some time back I found a big pile of household trash in the woods and followed the tire tracks to the back yard of the idiotic trasher. I then called the sherriff. I was there when the sherriff confronted the ‘Dirty bird’. The guy said, so help me I heard him, “It wasn’t me but i’ll clean it up.” Oh yah!
And concerning The Duke of Amboy’s comment about harsher penalties, the police nor the courts obviously want to be bothered by it.
Make the penalty fit the crime, and yes; littering is a crime!
Thanks guys, be vigilant! Chaz

Bob Said in March 25th, 2008 @12:53 am

Out of sight…out of mind!

Well…she just wasn’t thinking…poor woman has no idea what the world is like “outside of the Lexus”…she was ridding her world of unwanted materials…You just saw the obvious…what about those that never think about the trash they think they’re responsibly disposing of that only ends up forever in a landfill or leaching into our clean water supply (what’s left of it) Trashus Idioticus has evolved…or so he/she thinks….

chaz Said in March 25th, 2008 @3:12 am

TALKING TRASH
Bob, I believe your “out of sight, out of mind” statement has more depth and truth in it than most of us want to imagine.
Time and again we see where trash has been dumped along the road. For that person it is “out of sight, out of mind” and yet if someone were to dump garbage in that man’s front yard he would be outraged, after all, that is ‘HIS’ territory.
The same mindset that allows the trashing of our planet will also allow road rage and spousal abuse, etc. and it is based on a, ‘I don’t give a damn, or a,
nobody can tell me what to do’, or a, ‘i’m so clever’ or a, bully mentality.
It is the same irresponsible mindset that well meaning citizens have when they feed the bears, knowing full well that by doing so they are condemning the bear to an early death by habituating it to man. Hey, excuse me for getting on my soapbox there but this is important to all of us. What it boils down to is education. Educating the people and you do that by educating the children and let them educate their parents. Chaz

Anonymous Said in April 12th, 2008 @9:11 pm

p here in the north country when the weather turns cold and we start fishing “hard water” I have run into quite a few Trashus Idioticus. They leave their droppings all over the hard water and our friendly D.N.R. gets involved and asks me to give him a hand. The bottom line is I do not understand why so called sportsman treat our natural resourses the way they do.

chaz Said in April 13th, 2008 @6:03 pm

Hey Anonymous, You guys up north in the ‘hard water’ country at least are able to walk on the ‘hard water’ to pick up after the Trashus Idioticus.
Down here in Florida we have to periodically dive down and clean the lake bottoms of all the droppings of our species of Trashus Idioticus.
We are trying to get an open season on the species. If my plan goes through you will have an unlimited bag limit and be able to trap or shoot the scum sucking varmints even at night. Nobody would want to eat the filthy creatures though ’cause it is said they taste like mud. Chaz

Anonymous Said in April 15th, 2008 @5:19 pm

Hey Chaz, that snake is enough to keep me out of the woods. Man you must be crazeee!
Scare-d-kat