TALKING TRASH WITH THE REBORN RIVER RAT

Posted by ctowne in April 17th, 2008

Hey, all of you trash talkers out there! This is the River Rat here and you’re going to love this.

Recently I was back in the woods scouting wild animal trails for places to set up camera blinds when lo and behold there in front of me was the sign of the greater trasher, or, Trashus Diabolicus!

This dirty bird had cut a hole in a fence and driven his pick-um-up truck onto state land to dump a load of yuck. Greasy auto parts, household trash and garbage was left in a huge pile for akk of us nature lovers to enjoy.

Well now what else could I do but dig through the stinking detritus until I found a couple of envelopes and a magazine wrapper, all with the same name printed on them.

I trailed the pickup’s tire tracks right to the Trashus Diabolicus’ back yard. There the pick up sat, sleeping, after its foray into the wild.

I called the sherriff and with great glee showed him the pile of trash and the incriminating evidence and then I led the officer to the truck.

He didn’t arrest the truck but he did ring the doorbell.

The homeowner, a fat, greasy, speciman of Trashus Diabolicus denied that the trash was his, he said somebody else did it.

The officer then showed him the envelopes and the shipping label.

Trashus Dabolicus said, and I repeat, “I can’t imagine how my mail could possibly be in that trash, somebody must be trying to frame me!”

Oh well, the nice man said it wasn’t his but being a good citizen and all he drove his pick-um-up truck to the site and cleaned the mess up under the watchful gaze of ‘the man’.

Innocent? If he was innocent I’m a blue eyed gopher!

In a previous blog The Duke of Amboy called for harsher penalties for littering and I agree. Let’s be part of the solution and not the problem.

You have a nice day now ya hear, The Reborn River Rat

P.S. Please let me know if you have had a similar experience and I will post it in the blog.

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Anonymous Said in April 17th, 2008 @3:44 pm

Truth is stranger then fiction, and so goes it with your wonderful stories of creatures and critters alike..go Rato!!Nr

Anonymous Said in April 17th, 2008 @7:56 pm

What a great story! I would love to have seen that guy’s face. I am so glad that you were there to witness his diabolical deed and then took the time to track him down and to follow through with the sheriff. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous Said in April 17th, 2008 @10:06 pm

Great detective work! I’ve never understood why people think they can just dump their trash wherever they please. Is it so hard to take care of it the right way?

Thanks for helping to keep our world clean!

Jonathan

The Amboy Duke Said in April 18th, 2008 @12:11 am

Unfortunately most people don’t and won’t care until it hits them in the pocketbook. So what’s the solution? Threaten to raise taxes to keep the countryside and roadsides clean. Enforce the laws against littering and increase the penalties. Violaters…lock em up and bring back the chain gangs. Make them clean up the litter in shackles. Then and only then will you get the public’s attention. Until then the public will continue to be more interested in Brittany Spears’ latest hijinks rather than keeping their country clean.

The Duke

Anonymous Said in April 18th, 2008 @12:57 am

Great story, I am happy you were there to see him do it, However i am more happy you had the Backbone to do something about it, as a lot of people would not have got envolved in doing something about it, Way to go Chaz,

chaz Said in April 18th, 2008 @12:57 am

Duke baby,
WOW!!! The Amboy Duke doesn’t pull any punches! Duke you laid out an anti littering srategy and I love it.
We will call it the T.A.D. The Amboy Duke clean highways system:
One, Hit them in the pocketbook by raising taxes.
Two, three and four of T.A.D. would involve enforcing the laws already on the books by
Increasing the penalties. And lets make it so that For one week all idiotic litter bugs will wear a tee shirt proclaiming their litter bug status.
I will add another item to the list AND THIS ONE WOULD WORK!!! Charge a can and bottle deposit on every tin, plastic, glass or aluminum container sold in the state of Florida.
Tell me what you think.
The Reborn River Rat

cherylp Said in April 18th, 2008 @2:20 am

I think we should paint a scarlet “LB” on their foreheads–but the feel-good people would never let us do it–we might damage those poor people’s sense of self-esteem…

I know exactly how you feel. Walking along in all the beauty God created, and fall into man’s muck pit, metaphorically, just gives me a raging headache and a bad day.

chaz Said in April 18th, 2008 @3:38 am

Cherylp
Raging headach? Have you ever seen a troll running around in the woods with a shaved head and foaming at the mouth. If you did it was probably me just after discovering a huge pile of scrap building materials dumped on state land.
That same day I discovered where some ecologically deprived ignoramus had dumped a truckload of roofing trash on the same land. Now I am not a violent man, but?
Last week I was following a truck loaded with used fencing. Now I’m sorry but these guys are highly suspect as far as I am concerned due to the fact that dump fees have skyrocketed like everything else and if they don’t have to pay those fees that they collected from the homeowner to tear out their fence it’s just good besiness. I followed the truck until it turned off on a dead end road. The driver pulled down the road,turned around and parked. I sat and watched him. He sat and watched me. I glared at him, he glared at me. Boy, if looks would kill! After about fifteen minutes he became very upset and pulled away and as he drove past he was mouthing something, perhaps a prayer, as he made some sort of lodge sign with his middle finger.
Lets practice a little vigilanteism here. Who know, it might start to make a difference, at least we can hope so. You have a nice day now ya hear Cherylp.
The Reborn River RAT

chaz Said in April 18th, 2008 @3:42 am

Oh yes, sorry Cherylp, people like this that trash the land don’t have any self esteem so it is unlikely you could damage it.
The Reborn River Rat

Anonymous Said in April 18th, 2008 @9:07 pm

Reading your blog is refreshing and gives one a sense of hope, hope that some people really care. Prof Judy

chaz Said in April 18th, 2008 @9:49 pm

Prof. Judy,
Thanks for the kind words. If what you say is true than part of my goal has been accomplished. The other, more important part of coarse is to perhaps inspire other concientious individuals such as yourself to get involved. Just perhaps that when it comes to littering a vigilante force is not a bad idea
You have a nice day now ya hear,
The Reborn River Rat

the canoe king Said in April 19th, 2008 @1:44 am

River Rat, once again thank you for lovi’n the park. I’m always waiting to hear the next adventure!
I wish that I had the time to spend 10 hour adventures chasing the utopia wilderness.
Take Care
The Canoe “KING”

An introduction Said in April 19th, 2008 @12:18 pm

Hey Canoe King,
I have seen you picking up trash along Baptist camp road my friend. You are my kind of people buddy. It’s folks like you that are willing to actively get involved, raising your voice in the community and making your presence felt on the highways and byways that really make a difference. You take care King and be vigilant.
The Reborn River Rat

Chipton Said in April 21st, 2008 @12:27 am

Lazy people everywhere! Glad you followed up on this and that it turned out well.