My occupation as a small boy and eventually a zoo director and my more recent relationship with bears has given opportunity for many encounters with interesting denizens, both animal, human and otherwise.

Recently I had the opportunity to provide the black bear footage for a T.V. series featuring the wild places of central Florida. While questioning me the interviewer made the statement, “You do realize that there are some people that would think you are crazy.

Well, what could I say?

Let’s consider that “Crazy” remark.

There was a time when my mama was young and foolish that she prayed for a little boy just like Huckleberry Finn. ( This just goes to prove that praying, like playing with dynamite and swimming with sharks has its own peculiar share of risks.)

Eventually mama’s prayer was answered, which just goes to prove that the Almighty, while listening to our prayers, has an incredible sense of humor.

In my defense, as I grew and the years passed, mama would often tell me, “You were very cute when you were a baby.” It was only years later, and I am sure there are some that will disagree, that I learned that cute babies usually turn into very ugly and often troll like adults.

Oh well, such is fate.

It wasn’t long before I was exploring and experimenting. You will notice that both of those words begin with ‘ex’ which might very well have described my condition if it hadn’t been for mama constantly praying, “Please God, keep my little boy safe.”

As a youngster I must admit to the fact that I didn’t have the good sense that God gave a goofy gopher and usually the principle that governed my life was, ‘act, don’t think’, which for most of my life has worked so well I have seen little cause to change.

What with me turning over rocks, sticking my hands into holes and hollow trees, molesting bald-faced hornets and other wild critters in the woods and streams of our neighborhood and otherwise, “venturing where no human has ever gone before.” I was equipped with not one guardian Angel but I had an entire battery of the heavenly host watching over me.

Such was my reputation among the winged protectors that when an Angel drew ‘guardian Angel’ duty with me as the subject some strong Angels would break down and weep.

My Angels were the only Angels that were consistently wearing casts and walking with the use of crutches and if you have never seen a guardian Angel with a broken wing let me tell you, it’s not a pretty sight.

There was a hazardous duty award given to my guardian Angels for protecting me. It was called the ‘Big Freckle’.

Contrary to the popular rumor which would lead one to believe that freckles are angel kisses, freckles are really awarded to the recipient for the number of times that they are rescued, and I must admit, I have more than my share. It is an interesting fact that my angels had to start borrowing frckles from other little kids to keep me supplied.

A typical conversation among my guardian Angels usually goes something like this. “Hey Ariel, you are his number one guardian, you watch him today.”

Ariel, with a pained expression on his face, exclaims, “I watched him yesterday! Don’t expect me to do it two days in a row. Just keeping a record of the times that the kid has had to be rescued keeps me busy writing. Hank has weaseled out of the job for the last three weeks, let Hank do it. HANK! Hey Hank! Where did he go off to now? He was here just a minute ago.”

Larry, another Angel, speaks up at this point. “I don’t know where Hank went but his fishing pole is gone!”

“Well isn’t this a sorry lot of guardian Angels,” Ariel exclaims, Hank is just as apt to get into trouble as that little freckle faced kid we are supposed to be guarding.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Zeke exclaims, “But the kid is playing with a dead chicken again, not only that but he is popping maggots between his fingers!”

A loud moan can be heard coming from the crew of elected guardian Angels.

Ariel, with a pained expression on his face exclaims, “O.K., I’m on my way. Tomorrow two of you are going to have to watch over him or I’m going t’ talk to the Chief.” With this departing comment Ariel flies off to watch the kid, (Yours truly) play with the dead chicken and try to keep me from tasting any of the maggots.

I am not particularly proud of the fact that among all of the Angelic host mine are the only Angels that have to go for counseling sessions on a regular basis.

Having painted that interesting picture I would appreciate an interest in your prayers because mama is tired and she knows that I still can’t leave hornet’s nests alone and any hole in the ground or hollow tree is more than I can resist.
Crazy? I do take umbrage at the ‘crazy’ remark.

You have a good day now ya hear. Chaz

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