Not only are most city people heartless but city animals are a lot nastier than country animals.

Let me illustrate.

Never have I had an evil bird encounter in the country.

As a naturalist I have been bat dived, crow cussed, hawk bit, owl clawed and otherwise tormented by all sorts of country birds while in the course of photographing them in their natural habitat.

But only in the city have the birds ever been so contemptuous as to use me as a walking bombing range.

Pigeons, pigeons everywhere! Some cities have more than their share of pigeons along with the accompanying pigeon problems.

And by the way, a large group of pigeons, up to a thousand in number I feel should be called a ‘poop’. Some cities it could be said, have by some estimates several hundred poops of pigeons.

The term used for a group of pigeons this large is no longer called a ‘poop’. I will leave that up to your imagination.

I was walking down the street in a southern city one day, minding my own business when out of the blue, I was suddenly assaulted!

On the day in question there were many pedestrians present and though a lot of them witnessed the incident in which my person was accosted not one of them stopped to render assistance.

In fact some of them laughed heartlessly while the less bold grinned maliciously, obviously thankful that I was the casualty and not themselves.

Admittedly, the most anyone could have done was offer me their handkerchief due to the fact that my assailant was a dive-bombing pigeon.

About two days later, on the same street it was my dubious privilege to be the recipient of another gift from on high. Yes, that is right, again I was ground zero! And your darned right I’m taking it personally. And no, I do not believe it is coincidence!

This has happened enough times in my life to lead me to believe that at birth my folks had this cute little bullseye tattooed on the top of my head.

With my reputation as a target for the feathered those of you who decide to accompany me to the city be forewarned, walk at least ten feet away from me at all times.

So now you know why I do not like cities. Give me the wild places anytime. You can always find a tree to hide behind and the animals are much more civilized and a ‘poop’ of pigeons won’t be flying over your head!

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